September 29

29 Sep 23: How to deal with your shadow self

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‘Seeking to spark the most potential within you per word of any online newsletter’

1 thought

One new piece of work I’ve recently been working on is a book on a shipping and logistics magnate, a legend in the field.

But when we started the interview, the biggest part was his sharing about the Jekyll and Hyde within him.

And how he had to bring out the Hyde to avoid being cut in business, and in life. It was as if backs to the wall, he had to constantly bring out the Hyde so that he could protect the business, and the lives of those which were entrusted to him.

But within us, there is also a Jekyll and Hyde.

There are times when we feel that certain parts of our personality will never be easily accepted by the world – like the part that’s obsessed over the model cars. Or when we do things that we would never tell someone about. Or we work on things that we are ashamed to show the world.

This is what Carl Jung called the ‘shadow’ self.

Jung defined the shadow archetype as the dark and emotional side of your personality or psyche.

But when I asked him,

Do you like the Hyde within you?

He frowned for a moment and said,

No, I hate him.

That’s a strong word.

How about you? What do you feel about your shadow self?

1 talk

Anything that threatens the way you present yourself to the world (that is, brings your shadow self into the light) will be seen as a threat to your identity — and ultimately, your safety.

Elizabeth Perry

1 tip

Ultimately it’s realising that there’s something in the shadow side too.

It’s not just all dark.

Learning to work with it first requires you to recognise when it is rearing its ugly head.

For example, say that you were often teased for being ‘unsociable’ as a child.

Believing that you’re too quiet, you start retreating within, weighing every interaction to see if you “did it again.”

One day, someone makes an innocuous comment when you met them – and teased you, saying “Wow, you’re really introverted.” You immediately clamp up, thinking that they’re directing the comment at you.

Why? It wasn’t the comment, or the person. It was the part of you that was emotionally invested in not being socially inept.

Anything that threatens the way you present yourself to the world (that is, brings your shadow self into the light) will be seen as a threat to your identity — and ultimately, your safety.

It’s being self-aware, and then recognising when it’s affecting you, and being willing to work through that.

Even in the darkest night, there’s always light.

John

Live Young, Live Well – Work Your Love

Think others might benefit? I’m counting on you. Forward this on.

 


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