I get it. You want the immediate answers on where to go for your silent retreat.
But there’s no point finding the ‘best’ retreat, only to find yourself ill-prepared for it. Beyond finding the ideal retreat, it’s vital that you ready yourself too.
Here’s my own story of going for a silent retreat, and why you might want to consider one too.
But first, don’t get lost
In September 2019, I was flustered. I had just come back to Singapore, and now I felt anxious and lost. I had no job, and I didn’t know what to do with my life.
Daily, I would stuff myself with food to fill the emptiness within me.
In 30 minutes, I would go on a crazed attempt to finish cakes, chocolates and cookies. After the binge, I would desperately try to exercise it off by swimming.
It went on and on for weeks.
Then by chance, I saw a silent retreat advertised in church. Having nothing else to do, I quickly signed up for it.

When it started, I was shocked. They weren’t going to let us speak for 2 days. All we could do was to meditate on some scriptures. Towards the end, there would be some spiritual guidance where you could share what you wanted with the retreat’s director.
Observing yourself in silence
Having been busy for years, this was the first time in many years where I finally didn’t have to do anything. I could simply sit with my thoughts. It was deeply uncomfortable and nearly brought me to the edge of more distress.
One afternoon, I suddenly felt anxious over my continued lack of a job. With nothing else in front of me, I ended up gorging chocolates, sweets, and all the other snacks in the retreat centre.
Yes, it seemed scary.
But the retreat forced me to simply sit and observe what I was doing. This was different.
In the past, I would go on a vicious cycle where I would binge, and then quickly attempt to call someone to talk about it. I wanted to assuage my worries that I was going to be fine. But this time, there was no one to speak to. All I had was my own thoughts.
It forced me to finally stop and think about what I was doing.
Binging on food felt good, but was it the best thing I could do for my long term health?
Transform Heart Minds, with Carmen Teo
That’s why I recommend that you go for the one organised by Carmen Teo, at Transform Heart Minds.
Carmen is an experienced facilitator with a history of achievement herself. In her previous career, she was a high-powered consultant, before moving into the world of mindfulness meditation, where she now helps people to be more mindful of their own feelings, thinking, and actions.
That’s why her retreats are often marked with a deep sense of empathy for your situation.
Personally, I know that when I went for a silent retreat organised by another facilitator, I felt quite unheard because they didn’t seem to understand my situation. When I told them that I was stressed about not having a job, the director told me to be patient, and less hard on myself.
I found that to be singularly unhelpful. I had heard these platitudes before. I didn’t need to hear this again.
But with Carmen, because she comes from a corporate background, it’s not difficult for her to relate to your situation of achievement. You’re probably looking at the retreat because you want a deeper sense of balance in your life. You don’t want people to throw platitudes at you.
Consider Carmen’s retreat as a way for you to regain your balance. It might just help.
Beyond that, she also has a deep wealth of experience in the heart and science of meditation. Having been trained by those in UC San Diego, serving as a MBSR Teacher Mentor with UC San Diego Center for Mindfulness and completing her doctoral dissertation on mindfulness and its teaching practice, she has the theoretical base.
As a social worker myself, I’ve seen that today, it’s easy for anyone to conduct mindfulness courses.
But you won’t get many with her experience though.

The other thing I love is that it’s held in Bali. This means beautiful beaches, space, and the sound of surf breaking on the water.
It’s not something you should miss, especially if you’re looking for a restful place to recharge yourself.
Keeper’s Loft with Chiew Kwan and Roy
The retreat I went with Chiew Kwan and Roy was the first silent retreat I went for.

It was good because she gave some initial guidance. The structure of the programme was also good with 36 hours spent alone, and the final 2 hours spent sharing about your experience.
It offered a welcome break to my life, especially when I had been talking and talking for years.


I had never had the chance where I could fall quiet, and not talk.
But part of the problem is that because it was based in Cannosian Lifesprings Centre, the centre itself was small and not particularly full of interesting things to capture your attention. You would probably feel quite bored quickly. It is a problem, especially when you do silent retreats in Singapore.

The most interesting part was the labyrinth, where you’re expected to walk whilst meditating on scriptures. Whilst it can be an insightful experience initially, you might find it hard-pressed to hear something ‘spiritual’ or from God, if you’re not accustomed to it.

Ellel Ministries
Ellel is another one that is fantastic. Whilst I’ve not went for their silent retreat before, the other retreat I went for touched me in a deep place.
The first time I went, I cried.
I know, it sounds full of drama, but if you go there yourself, I’m sure you would too.
From the outset, there’s a beautiful manor in Lancaster to welcome you.

The small touches are what made it such a memorable retreat. For example, the moment I went in, there was a bookmark with my name handwritten on it, saying,
Dear John,
welcome to Ellel! We are so delighted to have you.
Whilst you can cynically say that they do this for every visitor, it’s lovely to feel thought of, and seen.
Beyond that, they also focus on communal meals.
This means that you eat with others, and get to enjoy the sense of belonging that comes from simple acts like passing the bread and butter around.

The teaching there also focuses on your soul and spirit, and that’s why it touched me in such a deep way. Rather than the normal things we saw in church that focused on an intellectual understanding of God, this focused more on what was beneath.
Sticky topics like:
what’s the root of your pain?
Why don’t we ever break free of our sense of suffering?
If you’re looking to be touched in a deeper way, you might want to look at this.
Finding a silent retreat is about first finding the retreat director you connect with
At the end of the day, you can search and browse for silent retreats.
But the most important part is for you to look at whether the director connects with you. And more importantly, whether the director cares about you. That’s where people like Carmen differ. With most retreats, you pay, and you go.
But here, there’s an application form you have to fill up so that Carmen can better understand your background and history, and plan a better retreat for you.

It’s a lot of care.
And it’s why the next silent retreat you sign up for, should probably look for some of the things mentioned above.
Don’t just go for a silent retreat.
That’s easy.
Be transformed by it.
That’s the hard part.